The Basic Betch’s Guide to Stagecoach Recovery


lg_stagecoachIt’s Saturday and I’m still in denial that Stagecoach 2014 is over.  I can’t believe it’s already been a week since I put eight 36 racks in the trunk of my car and trekked down to Indio for the start of the best weekend of my life. If you’re like me, you’re trying to figure out how to have Thomas Rhett’s babies (Sidenote: he’s 22 and married so I hate him), playing Hunter Hughes on repeat and trying to dougie as well as Luke Bryan. So what that I still have black boogers and wake up with my eyes caked with dust.  In the words of Corey Smith, who “couldn’t make it to the stage”, if I could do it again, you know I’d do it the same. In this Basic Bitches edition, I’d like to lend my recovery wisdom, so you don’t end up projectile vomiting on the first day at your new job.

1. Catch up on your sleep. This might be the most important since I probably totaled about 9 hours that entire weekend.
10252016_10202718280692499_6175227199702230254_n2. Come to terms with your Stagecoach ex-boyfriend.  Maybe you met on Tinder, maybe it lasted for one song.  In the wise word of Miranda Lambert “Life aint hard but it’s too long to live it like some country song”.  RIP Stagecoach boyfriends.  I’ll never let go.

We went to 2nd base

We went to 2nd base

3. Upload those blurry, saved snapchat videos of Luke Bryan Shaking it. It’s worth it.  People will love it.  Maybe his publicist will like it from his account.

 4. It’s no longer safe to chuck a beer 30 feet.  Any tossing of a can should be limited to 3 feet.  No exceptions.  That shit hurts.

1613876_10202718233851328_762609157703927891_n5. Remember that this is no longer socially acceptable.

10297920_10202718227371166_1933921327763499941_nOr this.

10322706_10202718273332315_6447401577545754257_nSee you next year!

 

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